THE UNNEEDED DRIVERS

 

In such a country like Nigeria where unemployment is easier to find than employment and almost everyone is underemployed, job vacancies hardly stay on various media of advertisement before people apply in torrents...

Some years back, Dangote PLC reportedly decided to employ graduates and masters degree holders as drivers of their trucks. Well, if that is by any chance true, then we can better understand the depth of the mess of this country. But then, the question is: "Who wouldn't want a better, educated, exposed, and socially sound driver who'll add some class to his business?"

Just Kill Me!

 

I have many friends who share in my joyous moments. We celebrate with one another, even in our little successes. We catch fun together, I must confess that they are the liveliest friends ever! Even when I feel bored, a simple WhatsApp chat with them is enough to add some sparks to my day. But I am struggling with some issues of my life; yet, none of them is worthy to be opened up to… Just kill me!

I have senior friends whose maturity, care, and generosity magnets me to them always. When we talk on phone or via Facebook, their words of encouragement invigorate me to hit the peak! My love relationship is in mess (deep mess, actually); yet, I cannot open up to anyone of them for counseling… Just kill me!

My Church people… You see those ones ehn! They are too spiritual to relate with my human weaknesses. Their holiness is out-of-worldly and I can’t just tell them about my struggles. For where? Who born me? Just kill me!

How on earth will I tell people that I, the fellowship president, am in deep academic crisis? I slipped into probation grade last semester, and any further mess up will lead to withdrawal. Ah! Holy Spirit must have left me then… I must have committed some grievous sins for the Holy Spirit to punish me with bad grades… Just kill me!

I know what I will do… I will go to my Facebook page… Well it’s my personal space… and express my emotional hurts, excesses, inadequacies, depressions, imbalances and struggles there. I will paste my relationship problems on my WhatsApp status, shebi it’s my personal space. It’s my life, my space, and my problems. I will get my relief once I post them. Just leave me alone.

Hmmmmmmmn… Dear Friend, everyone has their personal problems and struggles. Now, imagine, for once, that everyone begins to post their personal problems on social media… What will social media turn to? Emotional Soak away? Just imagine it for once…

Any slight issue in your relationship… Paaaaam! You go to your Facebook/WhatsApp status to upload slight shades at your partner, or even pack everyone in a generalized gender bag with your derogatory comments. You use one guy’s flaws to judge all guys. A girl dumped you, and you turn all girls to heartbreakers… Just kill me!

Now, you claim it’s your personal space. It wouldn’t be disturbing if you’re the only one who’s “on your space”. I know it’s your personal diary, but diaries are not meant to be publicly displayed to all. Eventually, if you post your struggles for all to see, you’ll get lots of jests (they may not show it to your face), much public sympathy, and probably little help. Coming on public domain may not solve your issues, except in cases where you intentionally seek counsel (advisably, with anonymous identity).

So, Asegun, are you saying that people should bottle up when they’re passing through mess? Oh, no! I know that mental health is a big issue in this part of the world. Many are mad, but only few are roaming. Do not die in silence, but do not make your personal issues a public discussion. Seek counseling. Seek help. Don’t be too shy to seek help. If you don’t have anyone (trusted friend, mentor, counselor) you can express your concerns and hurts to privately, I suggest that you evaluate your friends/contacts list and connect with better persons. There’s safety in the midst of counselors. Your network determines your net worth (Warren Buffet).  Connect wisely and rightly.

Opening up is the best thing to do, especially when one gets depressed or threatened in a relationship. Communicate your concerns expressly to your partner (or friend). Malice has never worked. Online shades aggravate issues. Gossips don’t lessen the burden. Open up! But how do you open up? That’s equally important. It all boils down to the quality of your connections. Do you have an inner circle? What’s the quality of your inner circle? I almost suspended my Masters programme early this year due to some frustration… But, thank God I opened up to my inner circle. They “drove” me and helped me sail through.

Hmmmmn… Your partner offends you and you make social media your home of relief by posting shades at him/her. What would happen in marriage? There’s a whole lot of difference between seeking counsel/help and seeking public sympathy.

Life would be much easier if one invests in his/her “people bank”. Don’t leave your life in shambles due to silence. Also, don’t parade your dramas on social media. Respect your privacy. Get proper counseling, not public sympathy.

If you’re in a toxic relationship that can lead to suicide, quit! If you’re in a relationship that forbids you the freedom to expressly communicate your feelings and hurts, review the relationship and make the best decision (even if it means you’ll quit!). If you have NOBODY (no trusted person) you can share your burdens with, review your connections.

Don’t just have jesters in your circle of friends. Have motivators. Have value-adding friends. If your contacts/friends can only journey with you in your bright seasons but are not useful in your dark times, you seriously need to evaluate your connections. Why will you be free to discuss and celebrate your good times with people, and have NOBODY to open up to during your struggles?

No… Don’t kill me… Don’t kill yourself. Let’s Save Ourselves!

FOCUS: Impact

Hello Friends, 

Can you see that the euphoria of New Year is fading already? That’s a very good reason for us to get running and not play away our time. Sleeping and Waking is one of life’s biggest blessings, and we are glad to be blessed so much.

In the previous article, it was a charge to focus on our goals for the year (Read here: https://theasegunproject.blogspot.com/2019/01/focus-goals.html). In this article, we will charge ourselves towards impact.

What can we actually do with our lives? The biggest thing we can do with our lives is to make IMPACT. This is better by far (Unilorin students, right? #winks) than making income. Our impact outlives us, and that is why the likes of Martin Luther King, Mahatma Ghandi, and even our own Obafemi Awolowo will never be forgotten in history.

And the sweetest thing is that we do not need titles in order to make impact. Impact is not the birthright of some selected persons. No. No.. No… You don’t even need $30billion. #ShrugsShoulders

I’ve got just ten simple tips for us this morning. These tips will drive us towards making “little impacts” that will sum up to become mighty ones. Little things count, just as drops of waters make a mighty ocean.

This year, friends, 

1. GIVE more, 
2. SMILE more, 
3. HELP others, 
4. APPRECIATE people, 
5. FORGIVE quickly, 
6. LOVE more, 
7. SUPPORT people’s dreams, 
8. NURTURE relationships, 
9. INSPIRE lives, and 
10. BUILD systems.

Simple tips, right?

The idea of making an impact in life is nothing new. Doing things that have a profound positive effect on those around us means that we both stand out in people’s minds, and also leave a lasting impression of what is possible with the right actions and decisions. Each day when you wake up, consider this question - “Do I live to exist, or do I exist to live?” Living to Exist means you go through your day just waiting for it to end, while Existing to Live means you take the day as an opportunity to make things better.

The best quote on laziness I’ve encountered is this “Laziness is resting when you’re not tired.” Don’t be income-hungry, be impact-driven. People who are impact-driven eventually live beyond their income because their impact has a way of creating passive income. Those who invest in lives don’t lack resources, because such investments appreciate and multiply.

Friend, I need to tell you this: In your journey to make impact, many people will misunderstand you. You know there’s so much noise in our generation, such that people who have chosen to tow the impact-path are seen as driven, crazy, obsessed, abnormal, and weird. That’s okay. Let them not understand that you refuse to waste your life. Not everybody understands, especially in our generation.

So find some friends who get it, and encourage each other. Whether they live in your neighbourhood or whether they live 1000 miles away is irrelevant. Just find some likeminded people. The internet has broken the distance barrier, and that is why TheAsegunProject is here to inspire you. The people who have inspired me are not only people I’ve met personally. I met lots of them via the internet.

Also, friend… Don’t be discouraged by current results. Your impact usually can’t be measured now. So don’t be discouraged if you think you’re not making much of a difference. So just keep doing the right thing. Every day. Eventually you’ll see the indicators that you’re on the right track. Please don’t despise small beginnings.

In my mind, I would rather go to bed knowing I made an impact in life, rather than going to sleep just being happy I survived another day. I don’t care about my numerical age when I die, what matters most to me is that I should die empty. The grave has no use of my potentials, successes, inspiration, or impact.

This year, friends… Let’s focus on making more impact in people’s lives, in our immediate environment, and even beyond. E-Merge and SURPASS!

Thanks for reading!

FOCUS: Goals

The race in this New Year is no longer new. We are already enjoying God’s blessings for the year. And blessed are we among all creations!

In the previous article (check https://theasegunproject.blogspot.com/2019/01/focus-past-present-and-future.html) I illustrated the importance to focus on what is right before us instead of concentrating on the past that is gone, or the future we don’t know yet. Focus is key. “Where your focus lies” is as important as “what your decisions are”.

Now, let’s talk about our 2019 Goals. I don’t know what goals you’ve set for yourself for this year, but I make bold to tell you that achieving your goals is YOUR responsibility (all things being equal). New Year resolutions have been made; I honestly hope that the same resolutions won’t be “remade” next year. Honestly.

Staying focused on your 2018 goals was hard. In the beginning, you were certainly motivated. But your motivation waned over time. You got caught up, stuck, frustrated, overloaded, overworked, distracted, and you simply just deviated off track. Clearly, it was hard to stay focused when you have so much going on. Right?

Here’s my good news for you: FOCUS on your 2019 goals is POSSIBLE! Just as my friend, Mike Amure, charged me on three different occasions towards the end of last year… I know anything is possible. We are not of them who agonize about the past; we organize for the present. We won’t beat ourselves up for our failures or sit comfortably in our past successes. We will rather pay attention to what’s present right before us and conquer the territories before us.

Friends, Write Down Your Goals. If you haven’t written out your goals, then you’re missing the most important part of effective goal setting. When you don’t write your goals, they stay in the abstract. They’re less real, even if you think they’re as real as they can be. You have to write them down and get very specific about them. 

Friends, Remove Distractions. What were those things that took your attention off your goals last year? Identify them and avoid them as much as you can, even if it means seeking help from “friends”. Remember, if you want to go FAST, you go alone… but if you want FAR, you go with people.

Friends, Become an Effective Manager of your Time. It’s virtually impossible to stay focused on your goals if you can’t manage your time. Become an effective time manager and you’ll see yourself progressing rather than falling behind. Pick a time management system that works and work it. MANAGE “important and urgent” tasks (short-term crises and problems), FOCUS on “important but not urgent” tasks (long-term strategic goals), AVOID “urgent but not important” tasks (distractions and interruptions), and LIMIT “not important and not urgent” tasks (time-wasting activities).

Friends, Strategize. To stay focused on your goals, you need a plan. A plan is what helps move us from the status quo, to achieving our goals over time. Without a plan, we’re like a fish out of water, caught floundering. Usually, we end up failing without a plan. So, if you’re serious about your goals, and you want to stay hyper-focused on achieving them, create a plan.

Friends, Be Disciplined. When Jim Rohn said that “discipline is the bridge between your goals and accomplishment”, he zeroed in on something so important that has the power to shift and alter the state and quality of all our lives. It’s not just the matter of being disciplined for a short period. You have to wield that discipline for long periods if you want to accomplish big goals.

FOCUS, friends. F. O. C. U. S.! 

Thanks for reading!

FOCUS: Past, Present, and Future

It’s a New Year! To say “we are blessed” is an understatement. I am pleased to usher you all into this New Year!

We are too concerned with what was, and what will be… Yesterday is history, Tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. Focusing on the future will make us anxious. Dwelling in the past, we are bound to fall down. We will feel nostalgic and will lose the precious moments from present, hence, the only reality is present and our focus should be to make it beautiful. Amen?

Lao Tzu, the great Chinese Philosopher, made a profound statement – “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present”. The past is exactly that, it has passed. However, if we focus on the future, it will create stress in our lives.

I am very sure that some questions are being raised in your mind. Am I to just “forget” the past as if nothing happened? Hmmmmmn… How can I even “forget” what happened in 2018 so quickly? Smiles… And how will you tell me not to think about the future?

Friend, I never hinted all these. So, those questions are just distractions and invalid. Why? The word here is FOCUS and not “look” or “remember”. Let’s move on!

Your Life is likened unto a car with a windscreen and rear view mirrors. The rear mirrors help you to view what is behind (past) and the windscreen help you to see what is here (present) and what is ahead (future). So, would you focus your attention on the rear mirror or on the windscreen? Hmmmmmn!

Friend, would you keep basking in the euphoria of your past journeys and take your focus on what’s in front of you? 2018 has either obeyed or disobeyed. We cannot change what happened. But 2019 is here. Let’s rewrite our story!

Have you ever considered the reality that the windscreen of your car (life) is at least 20 times bigger than the rear mirror? The rear mirror is very small, and typically you should spend less than 5% of your driving time looking behind you. However, your windscreen is huge, because you must have clarity and visibility in front of you to be able to drive your car and arrive at your destination safely.

The number one rule of driving is to always keep your eyes on the road, and a clear windscreen is extremely important.

2018 is gone. The past years are gone. We cannot and should not dwell on those things that happened to us, whether good or bad, because that will deprive us the opportunity to deal with the present. Drivers who look back through their rear mirror instead of focusing on what’s ahead of them will continue to run off the road, hit the potholes and crash into adversity.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not undermining what horrible things might have occurred in your life, but I refuse to allow you to believe that those things make up who you are as a person.

So… What do you do with your past? Try to “remember” –not focus on– what has passed. And try to learn from it. Apply your learning to the benefit of yourself and others, when you can. If you can’t, you can’t. Don’t worry about it. Life continues, no matter what. Life is not fair or unfair, cruel or kind. Simple. Not simple? Okay.

The past is good for only two things: Entertainment and Instruction. All other uses (as well as too long a time spent in entertainment) are corrosive to the human soul. One needs to CONSIDER the future... it’s hard to get where you're going, if you don't know where you want to go. But one must learn to appreciate the dynamic nature of life. What do I mean? No matter how hard you look, eventually the future will throw you… Which brings us to the only place in which you can live: NOW – the present!

Friend, can we break it down as: 80% in the present, 15% the future and 5% in the past? We know that the past is unreliable, so focusing too much on it can lead to trouble. The future will always be there, so it is not necessary to put all of one’s focus on it. The present and result of present actions will produce the future that one is seeking. Hence, time thinking about the future needs to be thinking about whether present actions are helping bring about the future of your choice.

Thanks for reading!