Just Kill Me!

 

I have many friends who share in my joyous moments. We celebrate with one another, even in our little successes. We catch fun together, I must confess that they are the liveliest friends ever! Even when I feel bored, a simple WhatsApp chat with them is enough to add some sparks to my day. But I am struggling with some issues of my life; yet, none of them is worthy to be opened up to… Just kill me!

I have senior friends whose maturity, care, and generosity magnets me to them always. When we talk on phone or via Facebook, their words of encouragement invigorate me to hit the peak! My love relationship is in mess (deep mess, actually); yet, I cannot open up to anyone of them for counseling… Just kill me!

My Church people… You see those ones ehn! They are too spiritual to relate with my human weaknesses. Their holiness is out-of-worldly and I can’t just tell them about my struggles. For where? Who born me? Just kill me!

How on earth will I tell people that I, the fellowship president, am in deep academic crisis? I slipped into probation grade last semester, and any further mess up will lead to withdrawal. Ah! Holy Spirit must have left me then… I must have committed some grievous sins for the Holy Spirit to punish me with bad grades… Just kill me!

I know what I will do… I will go to my Facebook page… Well it’s my personal space… and express my emotional hurts, excesses, inadequacies, depressions, imbalances and struggles there. I will paste my relationship problems on my WhatsApp status, shebi it’s my personal space. It’s my life, my space, and my problems. I will get my relief once I post them. Just leave me alone.

Hmmmmmmmn… Dear Friend, everyone has their personal problems and struggles. Now, imagine, for once, that everyone begins to post their personal problems on social media… What will social media turn to? Emotional Soak away? Just imagine it for once…

Any slight issue in your relationship… Paaaaam! You go to your Facebook/WhatsApp status to upload slight shades at your partner, or even pack everyone in a generalized gender bag with your derogatory comments. You use one guy’s flaws to judge all guys. A girl dumped you, and you turn all girls to heartbreakers… Just kill me!

Now, you claim it’s your personal space. It wouldn’t be disturbing if you’re the only one who’s “on your space”. I know it’s your personal diary, but diaries are not meant to be publicly displayed to all. Eventually, if you post your struggles for all to see, you’ll get lots of jests (they may not show it to your face), much public sympathy, and probably little help. Coming on public domain may not solve your issues, except in cases where you intentionally seek counsel (advisably, with anonymous identity).

So, Asegun, are you saying that people should bottle up when they’re passing through mess? Oh, no! I know that mental health is a big issue in this part of the world. Many are mad, but only few are roaming. Do not die in silence, but do not make your personal issues a public discussion. Seek counseling. Seek help. Don’t be too shy to seek help. If you don’t have anyone (trusted friend, mentor, counselor) you can express your concerns and hurts to privately, I suggest that you evaluate your friends/contacts list and connect with better persons. There’s safety in the midst of counselors. Your network determines your net worth (Warren Buffet).  Connect wisely and rightly.

Opening up is the best thing to do, especially when one gets depressed or threatened in a relationship. Communicate your concerns expressly to your partner (or friend). Malice has never worked. Online shades aggravate issues. Gossips don’t lessen the burden. Open up! But how do you open up? That’s equally important. It all boils down to the quality of your connections. Do you have an inner circle? What’s the quality of your inner circle? I almost suspended my Masters programme early this year due to some frustration… But, thank God I opened up to my inner circle. They “drove” me and helped me sail through.

Hmmmmn… Your partner offends you and you make social media your home of relief by posting shades at him/her. What would happen in marriage? There’s a whole lot of difference between seeking counsel/help and seeking public sympathy.

Life would be much easier if one invests in his/her “people bank”. Don’t leave your life in shambles due to silence. Also, don’t parade your dramas on social media. Respect your privacy. Get proper counseling, not public sympathy.

If you’re in a toxic relationship that can lead to suicide, quit! If you’re in a relationship that forbids you the freedom to expressly communicate your feelings and hurts, review the relationship and make the best decision (even if it means you’ll quit!). If you have NOBODY (no trusted person) you can share your burdens with, review your connections.

Don’t just have jesters in your circle of friends. Have motivators. Have value-adding friends. If your contacts/friends can only journey with you in your bright seasons but are not useful in your dark times, you seriously need to evaluate your connections. Why will you be free to discuss and celebrate your good times with people, and have NOBODY to open up to during your struggles?

No… Don’t kill me… Don’t kill yourself. Let’s Save Ourselves!